I should be sponsored by Trojan
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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