It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
