I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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