Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize