you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
