Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize