You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
