Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
