My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
