3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize