Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
