It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
