So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
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I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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