i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
