I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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