My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
