Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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