forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
did you just send me my own nude
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
