no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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