you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
