Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
