I wish i was in the wii world.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
