dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
