I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
