i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She bit a glass in half.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
