why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize