very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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