i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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