dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
