doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
