Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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