When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
