Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
