just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
