I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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