You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
