I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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