Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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