that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
