Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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