if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
