i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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