I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize