Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
