Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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