Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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