wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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