So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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