i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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