i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
