dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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