I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
