it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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