I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
