Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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