He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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