ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
