I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
