I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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